#the only thing that keeps jim running so fast is the idea that the man behinds him wants nothing better to strangle him #and the thing that keeps bones running is the thought that he really really wants to strangle the guy two feet in front of him #this is how they’ve learned to escape day-to-day threats to their life (vulcany)
(Source: ledgered, via tinyglowingscreens)
TODAY MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER BURNED A DOLLAR IN FRONT OF US BUT HE FORGOT TO TELL US THAT THE DOLLAR WOULDNT BURN ONLY THE ALCOHOL WOULD SO HE TOOK OUT A 100 DOLLAR BILL AND SOAKED IT IN ALCOHOL AND WERE LIKE “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” AND HE CAUGHT IT ON FIRE AND WE ALL YELLED AT HIM BUT THEN IT WENT OUT AND THE BILL WAS FINE AND WE WERE SILENT FOR 20 MINUTES
How to get your class to shut up for the entire period: science teacher edition
(via well-im-the-lord-of-time)
| Before I shower: | I DON'T WANT TO SHOWER TOO LAZY FUCK SHOWERING WHO NEEDS TO BE CLEAN ANYWAYS I AM HOBO |
| After I shower: | OH SWEET GEESUS THIS FEELS SO GOOD SO SQUEAKY CLEAN MY BODY IS MY TEMPLE EXPELLIARMUS BACTERIA |
just a reminder than tumblr gets face characters fired and if you keep going in this direction with the new Peter Pan face character you are all so suddenly obsessed with you’re going to make him lose his job
can you explain how that happens?
people find out his real name and call him that at the park, therefore taking him out of character and ruining the magic for the younger kids
SIGNAL BOOSTING THIS SHIT
(via rejennarate)
no fuck off
you are dead to me, microsoft word.that’s because freedom doesn’t include u just me
That’s nice Nited States of America
(via well-im-the-lord-of-time)
it’s been ten years and i still think this is one of the best plot twists in history
(via well-im-the-lord-of-time)
I don’t think a white person has had so much sass in all the history of sassyness as in this moment. 11 probably invented sass.
sassay
“11 probably invented sass”
11 invented sass my ass.
My ass invented sass
(via well-im-the-lord-of-time)
